"brittany's prayer " // story .1. //

 

"brittany's prayer"

// story .1. // 

I spun down the road, my gas pedal nearly to the floor as I raced closer and closer to the exit sign for Snohomish. I was already terribly late.

I looked anxiously at the clock beside my dashboard and again at the estimated arrival time on my GPS. At this rate I would be at least 10 minutes late to the small group meeting. This was a brand new bible-study group that a friend of mine had convinced me to go to. I had to look up the directions and had underestimated the time it would take to get to the place.

Maybe my introvert nerves had gotten the best of me that day, making me so apprehensive about going. I wanted to make a good impression but obviously, with my late arrival and scattered mind, that would not be the case. Of course. 

"Ugh, why am I always running late?!" I groaned to myself. I leaned forward, closer to the wheel and focused desperately on the minutes of blacktop ahead until I rounded the corner and took the bend up to the city ramp. 

The sky was grey with rain but no droplets had fallen on my windshield yet. It was warm outside but the edge of a breeze fluttered the trees around me as I raced past the evergreens lining highway 2. 

Finally I saw the bend to the exit, and then the green of the sign. Yes!

I turned on my blinker and recklessly spun my wheel to the right, shooting up the ramp to the top where I would only need to make a left across from the on ramp and head towards the city thoroughfare. 

I stopped at the red octagon sign and waited for the cars on either side of the road to pass, searching for an opening to turn left. 

Suddenly, my eyes caught a glimpse of something, or someone, sitting on the edge of the on-ramp back to Highway 2 across from me. The thin frame was hunched over, the head bowed over the knees, obscuring the face. Short blonde hair on the small head made me think it was a teenage boy huddled on the side of the road, but I couldn't be sure, exactly. Nothing but a small bag sat beside the lonely figure sitting on the edge of the blacktop, and the youth wore only a thin tank-top and jeans. My heart burned.

Who was this young person sitting on the side of the ramp? It was a clearly dangerous spot, and if they had wanted a ride, not an easy road for a driver to pull over onto. Were they really as young as I thought? Did they need help? Why were they so alone?

My mind raced. I felt overwhelmed with longing to comfort or help this young person, but logic poured over my emotions like a smothering blanket.

I turned left, but the figure in my rear view mirror still sat before my eyes as I raced down the road into town. 

They needed help, or a touch of love, or something - that I knew. Heartbreak stretched my heart like taffy and I choked from the pain. That small person needed Jesus to touch them on the shoulder! But who would stop? Who could love them, as I felt deep inside my bones? I didn't know who it was that sat there, but I just knew I desperately wanted them to have at least one moment of love and support from someone, anyone!

Dad would kill me if I stopped on the side of a dangerous road like that to talk to a perfect stranger, my mind stated to me angrily. Logic always smothers the moments God wants us to act most. What if they were on drugs or something? I'm just a girl, I'm not strong enough to handle something like that. Not to mention, AGAIN, that Dad would actually kill me and never let me out of the house again. Plus, I am already horribly late to a bible-study and if I stop I will never make it in time! There is just no way.

God, I pleaded. Send someone to that young person to talk to them and pray with them and love on them! Please send someone who loves you and will share some love and care with that poor girl or boy or whoever they are! Jesus, please! Send someone soon!

Then it hit me. Like a voice in my head I heard Him say to me, "Ok. I send YOU."

"God, no!" I cried. "I can't turn around now! Are you crazy?! Sure, my heart is bleeding for that kid and I desperately want someone to stop and talk to them and share Your love with them, but Dad would KILL ME. And I am already late to the small group! And there aren't any spots to park near that ramp! Besides I'm not qualified, what would I even say?"

Suddenly my mind circled back to a story I had read when I was a little girl in Sunday School.

The Good Samaritan.

The guys that had passed the bleeding man on the side of the road without helping him had all sorts of excuses. Too busy, too much to do, too holier-than-thou to stop and take care of a neighbor in need. I was just like those losers. Too busy to stop even if my heart ached for this "neighbor" on the side of the road. Did I have the love and guts enough to be like the Good Samaritan and help out someone in need? "God help me to do this...." I asked.

Before I even realized what I was doing I had turned into a small off road and circled around, taking the opposite route back to the on-ramp. 

I firmly believe that God took over the reigns of my wheel that day. He knew I was too silly and weak to do it myself. But He loved that person waiting on the on-ramp. He knew they needed His love.

And God had the compassion and grace to choose to send me to them.

I searched the edge of the road ahead for parking spots as I passed the small figure. Up ahead was a very small alcove, just wide enough for a single car to park safely. God had arranged everything perfectly. I parked.

When I turned the engine off adrenaline rushed into my veins, clouding my ears and blurring my senses. What do I do now? Do I give them money or pray with them? I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl I was about to talk to.

God, lead me, I prayed earnestly. What do I do next? 

Then, just as suddenly, it hit me. I happened to have exactly $20 in cash in my purse! I NEVER carried cash, and I couldn't even remember where it had come from or why it was there, but I grabbed it and set is in my lap. Then I grabbed a notebook I had sitting in the passenger seat and tore a page out of it. I wrote down two verses inside and a small note about the cash. I placed the cash inside the paper and folded it neatly.

I don't remember exactly now what the verses were, but I knew that God had given them to me as I sat searching my Bible for the right ones to share. I strongly believe that in those times when I searched for guidance God moved my hands for me, strengthened my mind to recall scriptures I had not read since childhood. And once His help had been accomplished, the precious messages He passed on through me vanish from my memory like a dream. All I can say is, to God be the glory. It wasn't me who chose those verses, or had the foresight to keep cash in my purse. It was all His plan from the beginning. I was merely a messenger. 

I stepped out of the car and locked it behind me, clutching the folded paper against my chest as I crossed the road and began walking towards the on-ramp. I could see the orange shirt and blonde-headed figure still sitting there, not a single movement came from them. My heart pounded in my chest.

God, what do I say? How do I love on them? I'm not very good with words Jesus. But I long so much to hug them and tell them You love them too!!

Then, I was there. Standing just beside the hunched over figure. As I stepped closer I could see it was a girl. I couldn't tell her age exactly. The thin frame suggested 17 or 18, but the creased lines on the side of her face could have made her pass for 25 or older. 

I swallowed and begged God for the bravery to speak.

Then my voice somehow found it's way to my mouth and the word spilled out.

"Hello," I said, smiling.

The small head slowly lifted up as she looked at me. Large green eyes stared listlessly into my soul. She looked at me as if I was just another vision in her dreams, a glaze settling back over her emotionless stare. 

"Ca-Can I sit next to you?" I asked, more timidly this time.

She nodded slowly, and I plunked down beside her on the rough edge of the road. Loose pieces of gravel were scattered around the side of the blacktop, and it bit into my legs as I sat cross legged next to her. 

She looked at me and smiled softly, but her eyes were still so far away. A cigarette, I now noticed, was lit in her wilted hand over her knee.

"My name is Diana," I offered my hand to her in greeting. 

She smiled again and took it, shaking it loosely. "Brittany," she replied in almost a whisper.

I let go of her hand and scooted up closer to her. "I know this sounds crazy," I began, "But I was driving by and I felt Jesus tell me to pray with you. Would it be ok if I could pray with you right now?" I clasped my fingers together nervously and waited in the stillness for her to speak.

Please say yes, I pleaded in my heart. Please let me pray with you, Brittany. 

"Uh... ok," she responded finally. She didn't seem suspicious or weirded out by me or offended. Just careless and curious. 

"Can I hold your hands?" I asked again. I held both of mine outstretched for hers, waiting.

To my surprise she held hers out as well, and I grasped the thin and dirty fingers tightly, turning myself to face her. I closed my eyes, but  I could feel her vacant stare on me as I started to pray.

"Dear Jesus," I began, searching for the words to say but finding that they flowed out of my heart and into Jesus's arms like a rushing stream. "Please let Brittany know today how much You love her, and desire her, and want her to be safe...." I don't remember the rest of the prayer. I just let Him pour the words through me like water. I remember only asking the Lord to protect her, to keep her safe, to guide her every step and lead her somewhere she would be safe and happy. I prayed for her to know how much she was treasured and sought after by Him. How He was always there if she reached out to Him. The exact words escape my memory.

When I looked into her eyes after saying "amen" I saw them clear for a split second. Warm and beautiful, like a forest awakening to a summer sunshine, she saw into my heart for a brief moment. 

God, I begged again, please help her understand how much You love her and want her to be ok! Giver her more clarity so I can help her somehow!

But the cloud came over them again. She began to mumble then, scattered words that made no sense, her eyes became wide and she looked at me strangely. A spark of danger tugged at my senses. It was time for me to leave. I understood that her brief moment of sanity had faded away again, just as quickly as it had come.

I let go of her hands and stood up to leave. I fumbled around my pocket for the folded paper and handed it to her. "This is for you," I said smiling gently."Jesus wanted me to give this to you." She took it, this time with a surprised expression on her clouded face. She was still mumbling to herself when I left her. I raced back to the car, tears stinging my eyes and my heart jumping up and down inside of my chest.

What had I just done?! I had prayed with a young woman on the side of the road!

This was amazing! How was God able to send little ole me, fearful and weak ME to pray with someone? Suddenly I felt like God had give me the most enormous gift. 

I could be brave for Him! I COULD do crazy things for Him and be someone He could send to comfort and love on others with. I was His vessel! 

I got back in my car and drove back down the road to the study in a haze of wonder and amazement. I had never done anything like that before, but it had felt so scary and wonderful and amazing! And then the tears came. Oh Lord, I prayed. Take care of Brittany! Keep her safe, Jesus! I know I already prayed this but, please protect her and bring another person into her life to help her Lord.

I made it to the bibles-study half an hour late but with joy pounding in my veins. I don't remember much about the study. Only what God had shown me that day.

Looking back now I could have done so more for Brittany. I could have offered her a ride or shared the full gospel with her. But God knew what He was doing when he called me to plant a seed of love in her life. To just sit and pray with a sister on the roadside, and bring a touch of His beauty and life into her heart for a moment, however brief.

It is the longing of my heart to know what happened to her. Where was she going? Did she make it there safely? Does she know Jesus now? Is she doing well?

I don't know the answers to these questions, and I have never seen her face since then.

And I will never forget the moment when God had pulled my car around, and given me the first step of strength and love for someone I didn't know, to share a touch of His immense longing and hope to one of my sisters on this earth.

I am not worthy of being used by the King. But I am forever grateful that He showed me no matter how small a step, or how great a one, obedience to His will to love those He commands us to love and reach out to, is far more precious than the original path we were heading to in the first place.

Am I a good Samaritan? No - but I hope every day to become more and more like one. Like the God who loved us so much, He gave everything to sit in the rocky gravel of life beside us, and lift up our heads to the sky, and smile.

Wherever you are Brittany. I hope you know you are loved by a great King, and by me.

Safe journeys.

///

 

//Greetings brothers and sisters! This is the first part of a series of true stories I am publishing on this blog. Every story is true (Although names and locations have been changed to protect the privacy of the characters and people featured in the stories.) It is my pleasure to bring to you the first story featured in my new series. 

Sincerely,   - L :) 

// This is the first story in a series of true stories submitted. Stay tuned for the next installment! Announcements will be made every week regarding the stories published on this blog and the editor's notes regarding. //