My Parent's Love Story

Hey Everyone!!

So - one of my classes this week has been on Marriage and Family, and the assignment that I chose was to observe a marriage that I knew fairly well and write a paper on it, it's strengths and weaknesses, etc. And this is the result! I must say that I am fairly proud of it, because I poured my heart and soul into every word. And because the content of it and the marriage I chose to write on are near and dear to my heart. You can already guess the couple I chose to observe, right?! Yup! My own wonderful parents!!! So grab some popcorn and a good cup of Earl Grey tea and enjoy my favorite love story ever. 💗💕💑

(I guess you could say this is my pre-Valentine's Day gift to you all!)

- L

~~~~~~~

Rhonda and Patrick Miles were married on July 11th, 1992, in the beautiful woodland park in the Jemes Mountains of New Mexico. It was a beautiful day, and my mother had walked beside her dad up the aisle with her white dress billowing in the wind, while my father stood proud and tall under the gold trimmed chuppah that would cover the young couple as they embarked on their first steps together into a lifetime of unity.

This is the story of my parents, how they met, how they fell in love, what their marriage looked like through my eyes and from their own lips. My research is true, every word something I have myself witnessed in their lives throughout my twenty-three years under their care and guidance. And I can tell you that it wasn’t easy, but it was beautiful. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a miracle of love that God orchestrated with the perfection of His own plan. And if it wasn’t for His workings I would not be here today, writing this paper or thinking back on my life with the most wonderful people in the world. I would not change a minute, and I am positive if you asked them if they could go back and choose someone else, they would probably say no. God knows, and He fit these two imperfect people together in the most beautiful love story I know since the day Jesus paid for the love of His bride.

To begin, let me share a little back story on how they met, and how God brought them together, before I get into the details of their marriage. First of all, my parents met when they were both 19 at a concert Great Commission Church down in New Mexico had arranged for their singles group to go to. Their were definitely no sparks at first. My mother was a new christian and was focused on becoming a missionary overseas, no desire for marriage. My father was a young guy fresh out of bootcamp and working in the Air Force at the time. He had never dated, never been interested in anyone, and he had been a christian since he was 13 years old.

That December, Christmas 1987, my parents went to a party and this is when God made His move. When my father walked up to my mom at the party and greeted her, God said to him verbally in his ear, “Patrick, there she is! She’s yours!” My dad just about choked. Years later we tell this story with some amusement. Mostly because the minute God said that he stood there dumb as a statue while my mother who had turned around to say hi, ended up walking away thinking about what a cook that “Patrick” guy was standing there staring. After my father recovered from the shock, he spent the next several years pursuing her. And my mother, who was dead on focused on being a single missionary oversees for life, was not interested at all. Let alone marry that strange Patrick guy! Well, God had to do some more maneuvering and at 24, My mother was told by a Herschel Martindale, one of the founders of Great Commission Churches, that he did not think being an overseas missionary was necessarily what God was calling my mother to do. This shocked and grieved my mom, and she spent some time asking God why? But God had a different calling on her life, and that was to be a missionary of His love and salvation to her own children as a full time mother.

Sometime later my dad went away back to his hometown in Oregon to mull over life and he had been smarting from his second failed attempt proposing to my mom. He was confused. God had told him that Rhonda was the one! Besides that, he had grown to deeply love and care for the beautiful woman with the dark hair and shining eyes, who loved God so passionately and had the most beautiful heart of service and discipleship. Well….some time away helped. My mother got to thinking about that handsome young man from Oregon, the one with the heart for God and a passion for ministry and the glowing smile, and how much they had both matured and changed over the years, and well…. You can guess what happened next! Eventually when my Dad returned, they fell in love and got engaged. We always teased Dad that “Three times the charm!”

Well, after a brief courtship and engagement, my parents married on July 11th, 1992. They chose to share their vows under a chuppah, a jewish tent like structure that symbolizes Christ’s “covering over the church with a banner of love.” Two years later, I was born. Soon after were the married years raising all eight of us kids, always being involved with ministry in our lives and others, and throughout all of their time together as a couple I have seen strengths, weaknesses, etc., change and grow in their lives. I can say truthfully and sincerely that they are my inspiration for marriage. Their wisdom and passion for each their and God have drawn for me a picture of Jesus and His Church that nothing else has. But, I’m getting carried away here…..

To finish this beautiful story up, here are the points of wisdom, strengths, and weaknesses I have seen in my parents marriage and lives together.

To start off, my mother always told me that she and Dad made an agreement when they married never to mention the “d” word at any point. Divorce was something out of the question. They had decided to make their relationship work and never give up no matter what. On both sides of my family there had been many broken promises and my parents were determined to break the chain. This determination brought them closer as a couple and I saw their desire for togetherness begin from this first decision.

Besides this, my parents also work hard on communication. They choose to talk over anything they are unsure of as soon as it happens. They follow the biblical rule of “never letting the sun go down on your anger.” And they have always worked through it immediately. Because of this, I have never seen them fight. They may argue or disagree, but it is always resolved peacefully in the end.

I have also noticed that because both of them have a strong walk with Christ, this has definitely improved their marriage in numerous ways. It has heightened their desire for a biblical foundation for everything from communication, to handling disagreements, to improving even basic standpoints of increased respect, trust, self-sacrifice, and humility in their relationship. These, as well as other traits, are more strongly supported by God’s word being daily poured into each other through discussion and mutual encouragement. My father and mother love discussing scripture with us as well as each other. It has created a passion for learning as well as a healthy basis of faith and respect amongst each of us towards each other at home and in my parents relationship.

I can tell you without Christ in our home and in their lives, they first of all would never had met. And secondly, I have seen God knit them together through every trial so that they have become two people united in serving the Lord. They are an imperfect but beautiful example of Jesus and the Church, and I have seen the good qualities in each other blossom over time into a lovely flower of love. My parents love each other so deeply, differently, uniquely, passionately, loyally, fully! And as time passes it only grows more. I believe it has spilled into my own life as well. And I am proud to be their daughter and sit under their counsel and “banner of love!”

So then, what is my conclusion?

It is the following: that God should be the center of any marriage. That wisdom in communication, understanding, listening, self-sacrificing, serving, and sharing dreams together is what makes up a successful marriage. Oh, and never mentioning the “d” word at all, as my parents say so wisely! :)

And…..someday I too hope to wed in the mountains. To hold hands with my partner under the gold fringe of a chuppah, claiming promises to love and cherish, through sickness and health, till death to part. And I would be wise to follow my mother and father’s examples, in marriage, in life, in love.



“But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13