Glass Cage

Hello Friends,

Just thought that I would spend this post talking to all the young women out there struggling like myself.

Ok. So - for the past month mainly I have been struggling inside something I like to call the "Glass Cage."

Description: A fragile and breakable cage created by the prisoner out of unrealistic expectations, selfishness, perfectionism, fear, pride, and mistrust.

Sound familiar to any of you?

It does to me!

I found myself locked up in my own creation without hope, depressed and lonely. I totally knew that I could break the glass myself (Divergent Style), but I wasn't willing to. It's like I was desperate to be released from my prison, but comfortable in it as well. Does that make sense to any of you?

When we allow ourselves to sink into our own "little world," full of daydreams, afraid of being noticed, scrutinized, or even talked to, it's like these walls begin to climb higher and higher until they do shut us out from whatever it is around us. I told myself that there was too much pressure and stress involved in the "real world." Plus, I believed lies that said "nobody notices the work I do," "I'm so imperfect," "I will never be loved for who I am," "why can't I do anything right?" "nobody really understands me," "nothing is perfect," yada, yada, yada.

It wasn't until one day that I really understood the cage that I was in. I was sitting on my bed wallowing in my own little pity party. I had just finished writing in my journal. God was opening my eyes slowly so I could see what I had created around myself. "Ugh.." was an understatement. I was so self-absorbed and pathetic. Plus completely crippled from ever doing anything for Christ. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I felt so broken and disgusted with myself - desperate to be free from that glass cage I had built around myself. I just bent over and gave it all up. My life, my love, my hopes, my burdens, my dreams, my goals, my longings, anything pertaining to "me." I just cried out to God. "God! I hate myself and I hate this thing I have created out of the ugliness in my heart. Break it! Take it all and save me."

But something cracked inside of me. And before I knew it, that clear glass broke..... shattered like the pain in my heart. And although it hurt so badly to give it up, it felt so good to be free!

Only God could shatter that glass.  I couldn't do it myself. Jesus loved me so much that He put out his own hand to save me. He even gave up His own life so we could be freed from the bonds of our own sin! Could there ever be a more glorious and wonderful Savior!!!!
I am so thankful for Jesus' mercy! He is so wonderful and forgiving.

"I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul will make its boast in the LORD; The humble will hear it and rejoice. O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces will never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, And rescues them. O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! O fear the LORD, you His saints; For to those who fear Him there is no want. The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing. Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Keep your tongue from evil And your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous And His ears are open to their cry." Psalm 34:1-15

That doesn't mean that the cage can't be built back up again in moments when I allow my own selfishness and desires to take control, but it is far easier to clean a garage when you have already swept out the trash in it. Allow God to help you to keep things under control and just give Him yourself.

Me. Me. Me.

That's all I hear when I am in my cage. And it is the most unpleasant place to be and company to have. I never want to be caged again.

I want to serve Jesus with all the passion and free will that I can. I can't share God's love and salvation when my own hands are chained. I can't live for Christ if I am locked away.

Paul said in Philippians 2:21, "For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ."

When I am in my cage I am seeking my own interests. I am looking to myself and shutting out God and the world that I was meant to touch with God's love. I was not looking for what I could do for Jesus. The loneliest person in the world is the selfish person. And their is no greater joy than to be free to live for Christ! I never want to build those walls. I never want to live for myself.

I just thought that I would open my heart and share something that Yahweh has done in this life. And if you are trapped in the walls of your own Glass Cage just know that Jesus can free you.

You just have to call out to Him.